Isle of Elah is a world with many stories. This the tragic story of Bianca Regin, known to the island as the Cold Queen. This is her life story that her daughters will never know of.
Chapter 12
Bianca.
Bianca.
Bianca!
I burst out of my dream state.
I blinked and stifled a yawn as I took note of my surroundings.
I was in my room. Garreth was sitting next to my bedside. He was frowning…again.
It has been a week since the incident.
After that day, we refused to bring it up. Well, I refused to bring it up. He tried.
When he tried at first, I would scream. Then yell and cry. He stopped once I started yanking my hair out. I wanted to hurt myself physically because I refused to accept how mentally affected, I was. Anything to avoid the pain inside. It was a reason, I was starving myself. The ache in my stomach was easier to manage than the ache in my heart.
I avoided talking all together. I avoided making any sound.
I was a shadow of my old self. If only my enemies could see me now. See how the great warrior Bianca. No, the Great survivor Bianca became mute.
A mute lifeless doll. That is what I felt.
I tried to stay awake and not fall asleep. Anything to avoid the nightmare of despair stabbing at my heart and mind.
I would hide under the covers again. But Garreth would stay longer until he could see that I was still here. Still somewhat conscious in this life.
Garreth stared before getting up and leaving the room.
It was the same routine for the past three days.
I wish I didn’t survive. I wish I would have gone done with my comrades.
I turned towards the windows. It was cloudy. No sun in sight. Darker clouds seem to creep closer.
Oh ….it’s going to rain…
I blinked. I was shivering but I didn’t feel cold. Even though my feet were bare and I wasn’t wearing a coat. My night dress clung to me like second skin.
The river was flowing quite beautifully and dangerously. The tides were high because of the rain.
I felt like I was floating in a dream. A wonderful, glorious dream.
“BIANCA!”
I half turned.
Garreth appeared on the top of the hill on his horse. He jumped off and ran down the hill in the pouring rain.
“Bianca! Please stop! I will take you home!”
I erupted in giggles. I laughed so hard that my stomach started to ache. Which was strange because it stopped aching in hunger days ago. “Where is home? That island is not my home! This place is not my home! I DON’T HAVE A HOME! “
“We need to get out of the storm. It’s dangerous to be out here near the river.” He said about a five feet away from me. His face full of worry.
“Why should I? “ I asked defiantly, my chin tilted upward.
I took a step backward.
He raised his hands toward me.
“Please Bianca.” His green eyes pleaded at me.
I tried to smile but my lips trembled. There was no joy. All I felt inside was anger and pain. “I’ll do you a favor and relieve you of your duty.”
“No Bianca no!” Garreth yelled and tried to grab me. But I was still quick and nimble.
I fell back into the river. It was cold, biting, and painful until finally it became pitch dark and I became numb to the darkness.
Finally, I am free.
Pressure.
Pain.
More pain.
I do not want pain!
I coughed and vomited water. I hacked until I was able to breathe properly. My throat burned and my chest felt like it was knocked out by a horse. My lungs were on fire.
“Are you ok?”
Warm hands caressed my face. Pushing my rose gold hair back.
Emerald gems were staring at me full of relief.
Why?
I tried to ask. I heaved and heaved. Garreth keeps holding onto me.
The heavy rain becomes mere droplets. The dark clouds start to clear.
“Come.”
Garreth picks me up in his arms and staggers up the hill.
On the way, I realize we are both soaked to the bone.
I hear a horse neighing but I drift off before I can acknowledge it.
It is hot.
Too hot.
I’m burning up! I’m on fire!
I jumped. Or try to. There is like a mountain of blankets on top of me.
I squirmed, trying to get free.
“Bianca?” I hear Garreth but I don’t see him.
Some pressure gets off of me. I’m able to breathe more easily now but I still feel too warm.
A fresh damp towel touches my forehead. Garreth is at my side.
“Bianca, I’m not sure about what you are thinking…But I want you know that you are more than duty to me. And I hope that once you feel better. You will let me show you…”
I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the warmth creeping in my chest.
It’s a dangerous thing…. Hope.
I will not fall for it again.
Life is suffocating. I feel breathless these days. What is the reason that I’m still here? Why am I still alive?
I stared at the dagger thoughtfully. It was beautiful….and sharp.
I gripped it.
Just one sweep and it’s over.
I jumped as a tan hand took hold of the handle.
“Bianca, let go.”
NO!
I struggled with all my might but I was weak from hunger.
I screamed once he successfully took it off my hands.
“You said I can keep it as long as we’re together!” I yelled from the wooden ground.
He frowned as he stood over me. “Yes. I gave it to you so you would feel safe. Not for you to hurt yourself with it.”
“It’s mine. Give it back to me.” I sat defensively. Putting space between him and me.
He sighed and crouched down. “Bianca. I need you to be safe. Don’t you trust me?”
I glared, my eyes turning piercing blue. “You are the one who doesn’t trust me.”
He cleared his throat and shamefully looked away. “You are right. I’m sorry I accused you of such things.”
I scoffed. “Well, I’m not. I would not change a thing. “
His green eyes grew sympathetic. Oh, how I wanted to yank them out.
He finally sighed and collapsed on the ground. “That’s fair to feel such a way. I cannot judge you. I’m not someone who can know how it feels to go through such a thing…”
He ran his hands through his hair. “When I was a boy, my mother became pregnant. It was a difficult birth where only one or the other could only survive. They saved her life and my baby sister died. My mother was so distraught that she ended her life. Because during the difficult decision, my mother cried out to save her baby. My father ignored her plea and told the mid-wife to save my mother instead… I think all life is sacred. Which is funny because I am a knight who is a general that lead troops into battle.”
I stayed silent and stared.
“My father abandoned me to the previous king’s care and I had not seen him nor heard of him since…”
I stared at the wooden floor. Abandoned…I knew very well how that felt like.
“Bianca.”
I looked up.
His green eyes piercing into mine with determination. “No matter what happens, just know that you can always depend on me. I will never abandon you.”
We stared at one another. Warmth started to creep back into my chest.
It’s a dangerous thing…. hope.
I will not let myself fall for it again.
I started eating. He thinks I’m getting better but I’m trying to get his guard down. Almost two weeks now. I am waiting for the opportune time when he leaves me alone.
Garreth becomes attentive to me. He makes sure I eat something of supplement. May it be apple sauce, oatmeal, or small pieces of fruit that one gives to a child. Or jam on a loaf of bread.
He takes me for walks through the forest. He makes sure I am not near the river. Sometimes he remains quiet and sometimes he shares something about himself. His family, his training, his childhood, his knighthood, his belief, his likes and dislikes.
I don’t say anything. Some stories are things he has said before but I don’t mention it.
He reads to me every night. It’s a story about the beloved princess, Aria Dove.
I want to scoff. Beloved. It is something I am not. It’s like he is mocking me. But I still do not say a word against it.
He continues reading at my bedside until he sees that I fall asleep. Most of the time, I feign sleep. Other times, I actually drift to sleep. On those nights, I blame the warm chamomile tea that he gives me after dinner.
I feel too warm those nights. It is making me nauseous.
“Bianca, are you awake? …”
“Hm… I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to town quickly to get some supplies.”
I stayed quiet and still… until his footsteps fade away.
I started counting to 100 and then counted back down to 1. I kept doing this about 5 times. But I still waited before turning to the other side. There was no sound except for the birds outside and pot from the kitchen. I guess he left the stove on low heat. I began counting to 100 and back down to 1 again. After the fifth time, I stretched and opened my eyes. I stared at the ceiling for a minute before getting up. It was still quiet…
I stepped carefully to the door. I opened it. It creaked and I flinched.
Still quiet…
I fully opened the door and peeked out.
Garreth was not around.
I walked to the door and opened it.
“Garreth?”
“I see you are awake.”
I flinch and turn to my right.
Garreth is sitting on the porch. His eyes are closed.
I narrow my eyes at him. “Is this how you show that you trust me?”
He chuckled. “I am going to town. I just never said when.”
I froze for a second before shaking all over. “Don’t act all innocent. Just admit it! You were testing me to see if I would slip.”
He opened his eyes. “I knew you had a plan. I was just waiting for you to tell me what it was.”
I scoffed harshly. “Why don’t you let me die Garreth? I have no one. I am all alone. Anyone I care about abandons me. There is no point in living.”
“You have me.”
“Yeah until when?”
“Huh?” He looked at me confused.
“Until when do I have you? Until I go back to the island that is no longer home to me since everybody I cared about is no longer there! Or until the king takes me back screaming to become his mistress! Or until I finally die on this forsaken island!”
Garreth stood up and came before me.
“Bianca, I won’t let him touch you. Nor would I let you die.” He gently caressed my shoulders as light as a feather.
“Garreth! I am not an object! I am a person who feels and is tired of feeling awful all the time.” I cried as grabbed hold of his shirt.
“Bianca, I love you.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“You have me …if you want. And I will give you everything.” He grabbed my left hand.” Just please stay alive and well.” His eyes glistened and pleaded.
“Why do you want me?” Tears flowed down as I quietly asked.
He smiled at me fondly. “Because there no one else like you. I will fight for you. Now and forever.”
He kissed the palm of my left hand.
One Month Later
“I, Garreth Aleron, take you, Bianca Regin, to be my beloved wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”
Garreth slid the ring onto the finger of my left hand.
“I declare you both husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”
The traveling pastor pronounced us as husband and wife. His wife served as a witness and left on their merry way.
Three Months later…
“Bianca …are you sure?”
I smiled. “Yes…”
Garreth beamed and picked me up and twirled me. “Garreth!” I squealed.
He stopped and held me close. “Sorry love, I am just so happy.”
I kissed him. “Me too”…
Those months were a bliss.. he was attentive and overprotective again. And I was happy to be with the one I loved.
Six months later…
“Wah! Wah!”
I opened my eyes.
“There, there Amanda. It’s alright.”
Garreth is rocking a baby with magenta hair.
“MH!”
I look down. A baby with light copper hair is laying on my chest.
“Our daughters are beautiful. Just like their mother.” Garreth sits next to Bianca.
Twins. Both girls.
“Look…she has your eyes.” Amanda eyes opened while sucking her thumb. Crystal blue gems glowing in the light.
“mm..” I adjusted the baby in my arms.
“And Caroline has yours…” I smiled. Little emerald gems staring back at me.
It was a miracle. It was a dream. My little family. My little place of home. Hidden from the world.
Cici Tsumis 
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