Cici Tsumis

Cici Tsumis

What are the desires of the heart? What are the desires of a young girl’s heart? What did Raven even desire?

Raven Brownell. A new name. A new home. A new school. A new town. A new start. Raven was ready to have a better school year as a sophomore. The past was all a forgotten void in the back of her mind. This was the year that she was to make new friends, enjoy the school activities and create a great highschool memory. Maybe even get a boyfriend too.

Raven was very cautious in making decisions like choosing an outfit to wear or choosing a certain perspective to take a photograph and the last thing she expected was to fall and to fall fast. Who was he? He was Mason Edward Reed. At first glance, he wore nothing more than a mask. A mask that made people at ease to talk about the weather or ask for a pencil. But if anyone attempted to ask about his family or what he did on the weekend, Mason would subtly brushed them off like a small moth. Any pesky flies that lingered, would be forced to flee. For their instincts warned them of a potential danger hiding behind his appetizing sweet mask. Raven wasn’t allured to his mask but what was underneath.

What was it about him that drew Raven? His deep scowl? His brooding posture? His automatic sarcastic mean remark to almost everything? His deep dark pessimistic outlook to life? His invisible thick barrier that kept everyone at least two feet away? The fact that he was someone her father would forbid her to befriend? The fact that he was forbidden as the forbidden fruit in the book of Genesis? She just wanted a taste. Did Eve truly regret the taste of the forbidden fruit?

It was the week after she first saw him and luck was on her side because she had happen to run into him on her way home. He was sitting on a metal bench, indulged into a thick black book.

“What are you reading? Stephen King?” she inquired.

“No. did you make that assumption based on my monotone gray wardrobe and dark eyeliner?” he asked as he turned the page.

“Um…no. I – sorry I didn’t mean-”, she stuttered.

“If you are curious I’ll amuse you for a bit. I’m reading the Bible.”

“You believe in God?

“I have certain doubts.”

“Then why are you reading it?”

“It was my mother’s favorite book to read. So I mostly read it to remember her.”

“Oh that’s sweet.”

“No it isn’t. It’s actually really hypocritical of me to read it for that reason alone.”

“Then why read it?”

“Based on the notion and the fact that everyone is a hypocrite and thus have no right to judge me. Although that a great powerful being who created the Earth and this great universe is the only one who has the right to judge me….it kind of unnerves me….but should God truly exist then He should send me a sign that I cannot refute. Then again it says here that those who seek sign will not find one….”

“You want a sign?”

“I just want peace and to be with my mother again.” The last part said under his breath.

“I see…I’m ” Before she finished the bus came.

“Oh gotta go. See ya….never.” The last word, he muttered under breath. 

Raven wasn’t sure if she had a certain type. She remembered a romantic comedy movie of a girl falling in love with a troublemaker, who hated the world. But she changes him by brightening his perspective in life. She wondered if Mason was the troublemaker lead. If so, would that make her the heroine who saves him from himself? Or was she the third person of the love triangle, who is stuck in an unrequited love? It was later on that she found out who else was part of the triangle. And her role in the triangle was yet to be revealed.

---

Paige Norman was not your stereotypical dumb blonde. Not only was she popular in looks and personality, but also one of the top students in the whole class. Raven had biology class with her and was surprised how much Paige knew about evolution and cells of the body.

She was beautiful and Raven was sure that Paige had a boyfriend. Or once had one according to the recent highschool gossip mill mentioning that during summer vacation: Paige broke up with her boyfriend, the basketball star and the older brother of Mason.

Mason and Paige never got along and this was a well known fact throughout school.

Yet, their public arguments had stopped altogether when she broke it up with her boyfriend. The tension between them dissolved when they had to partner up for an assignment. They were civil with each other and rumor has it that they grew closer by reading the biblical scriptures together. Afterwards, they started spending more and more time together: seeing a drive-thru movie together, shopping at the mall, stargazing, going to a night festival, getting some coffee, etc.

They were hanging out in his room, when he decided to confess and took her hands in his. “Paige, I like you. I really do. You don’t have to give me an answer now but I hope you can give it a lot of thought whether you can like me back.”

Paige’s eyes widened and her mouth were a bit slackened but tried to reply, “Mason, I”

“What are you doing?” His brother walked in on them.

“Simon, I-” Paige stood up, wanting to explain.

Before she could, Mason stood in front of her and declared,“I’m confessing my feelings to her. What’s it to you?”

“Dude! She’s my ex! And you’re my brother!”, Simon argued.

“Brother?” Mason scoffed.“I never once thought of you as a brother. Don’t you remember? I’m adopted!”

“YOU BASTARD!!”, Simon yelled.

Her ex boyfriend broke out in rage and started beating on his own brother. She yelled at the them to stop. Mr. and Mrs. Reed came in right after and managed to pull them apart.

Paige left in the midst of chaos, anxiously brushing away her tears. She thought of Mason’s confession all night and came to the conclusion that she was not ready to start a new relationship. And thus decided it was best to distance herself from them both.

Or that’s what Becca Reed told Raven. An overwhelmingly friendly girl who made it clear on day one that she was Raven’s friend. She was the fine definition of a walking human version of the sun, full of warmth and brightness. The kind of girl that Raven would usually steer clear of. But if it wasn’t for her, Raven would have no idea that Paige was a potential love rival. It also helped that Becca was Mason’s little sister. It increased Raven’s chances to get Mason to notice her not only at school but in his own house also.

If only he didn’t bluntly shrug her off. Every time she would be in the same room as him, he’d rush off. Every time she’d try to make small talk, he reply curtly to her.

Becca tells Raven to ignore him and not take it personally because he is like that with everyone. But why? How can he get to know her if he keeps running off away from her? She wanted to at least be friends with him. Where was that heartbroken boy at the bus stop? How can she make him reappear?

He kept dismissing her, but she didn’t feel dismayed nor deterred. Raven still felt that she had a chance.

---

Until a certain rumor began to circle around the school.

It’s foolish to trust rumors without proof. Thus the reason why Raven asked Paige to meet her after school at the bus stop that was a block away. The bus stop, located in front of the liquor store. Behind the store was an alley.

“Paige….are you and Mason dating?”, Raven asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh…well you know the first conversation between Mason and I was at this bus stop. He was sitting on a bench and while sitting on the bench he was -”

“Reading the Bible.”

“Oh. Well did you he read it because-”

“Of his mom. He is not sure if to believe in God because what happened to his mom. All he knows is that he wants peace and to be able to see his mom again.”

“What-he- haha what is that? His pick up line or something? Haha.”

“…Raven….do you know why he reads the Bible at the bus stop every week?

Raven shook her head, “ no…”.

Paige sighs. “….It’s not a secret. Mostly everyone knows…I’m sorry I forgot that you are new in this area…”

“Why?”

“At that bus stop. It was where Mason’s mom was killed by a robber. She was stabbed. Her purse was stolen and all that was left was her bible on the bench. She was just on her way home from work.”

“What?”

“I’m just letting you know what the news reporter said that day. Alright?”

“Why tell me?”

“Mason is messed up. But he doesn’t need help from you or me. I don’t know why you like him. I like him because he is honest with me. He is straight with me even if it hurts. And we enjoy spending time together.”

“Are you rubbing in your relationship?”

“No. I am just trying to make you realize that maybe you don’t know him well as you think. I just think that maybe what you fell in love with was an illusion and not the actual person. Life is not a romantic comedy you know? Though I have to admit this is not a comedic one.”

“I love Mason.”

“…ok”

“Ok? Is that your response?! You don’t look bothered by it.”

“What do you want me to say? You are entitled to feel what you like. I cannot force you to not love him.”

“Do you even like Mason? Do you even love him?”

“I like him. Love? Only time will tell.”

“You don’t love him? If you don’t love him why are you dating him?”

“He was persistent and I decided to give him a chance.”

“Does he know about this?”

“Of course. We are honest with each other. We talked about this for a long time. He told me that he will wait for me.”

“You don’t deserve him.”

“Yeah maybe.”

“I’ll break you both up. I’ll ruin with your relationship with him.”

“You can try but you shouldn’t bother Raven. You know I feel sorry for you.”

“You dirty skank! Hahaha! Sorry for me?! What right do you have to even feel sorry for me?!”

“Raven, I’m sorry. You know, I thought you and I could be really close friends because of Becca. But until you move on from your obsession with Mason, we should not get involved with each other.” Paige stepped slowly away from her, being taken aback from her outburst.

“Yeah? Yeah! Go! Run away! Run away you dirty whore! Friends with you?! I’d rather eat crap! Crap!” Raven screamed as Paige left her alone at the empty bus stop.

---

That afternoon, Raven stomped away from the bus stop and walked aimlessly around the barely vacant streets. It wasn’t until she bumped into Owen that she realized that she was near the mall.

Owen and Raven weren’t close friends. Owen was friends with Mason and Becca.

She sipped her frapp as he continued ranting across from her. And from what she concluded of his one sided ranting is that Mason had upset Becca and refused to apologize and how he wanted to talk to Becca. But he couldn’t for some reason.

She can’t talk to Becca. Becca was close friends with Paige. Raven didn’t know why she was talking with Owen. Owen was –

“Raven??” A familiar voice called out.

She turned.

“J-Jamie???” she began to tremble.

“Get away from me psycho! 200 yards away! Remember! 200 yards away!! The boy cried out as he ran away from her.

“Who was that?”, Owen asked.

“Um…”

“And what did he mean by 200 yards? Is he just some weirdo? …You know…that guy…. kind of looks like Mason…”, he pondered.

“No! You are wrong!”, she yelled desperately at him before running blinding away into the streets, unaware if there were any incoming cars.

“Hey wait! Watch out!!”, he cried out as he ran after her. But it was too late.

---

It’s been a long time since Raven had seen Jamie Edwards. What she could recall was that he had a certain smirk when he was up to something or had an idea. He would purposely eat snacks in class and sleep during the lecture. He would always snicker when his teacher’s eyes would twitch uncontrollably. He would also get Saturday school for being late all the time. He was always jamming to Green Day during lunch. On his Facebook, he would post about him and his bros hanging out at the docks or at a house party or at the skate park or at the theatres, eager to see any new thriller and horror movies, especially those based by the Stephen King books.

Raven was just a shy girl then. She didn’t know what to make of him at first until they got stuck together doing a school project. Her lips would tremble constantly that is was hard to push out the words out of her mouth and her eyes resembled the google eyes that the elementary school teachers would have students use for an art project. His presence was warming like a cup of hot cocoa on a rigid freezing winter day. Yes, it was comforting but sometimes Raven felt that she was burned too much from the warmth.

Up to this day, Raven is not sure what impression she made to him but he would always greet her in the halls and in front of his friends. He made small talk with her when they happen to wait in line next to each other at the cafeteria or sit near each other at the school assembly. He was merely a close classmate.

Only that changed when she bumped into him at a nearby 7-Eleven.

“Hey Rae Rae! How’s it goin’?” He said after apologizing for bumping into her.

“Oh. Hey. I-I’m good.” She was caught off guard by the nickname.

“Cool, cool. What you buying?” 

“Arizona Ice Tea.”

“Awesome. I love me some Arizona! Well gotta go! See ya!” His warm hand patted my head, sending satisfying shivers down my spine.

He smiled brightly against the blinding sun behind him.

The scene of his exit vanished and what took place was the blinding sunlight coming through the wide glass windows that covered the most of the one side of the pale white wall.

Raven blinked and stared at the other occupant in the room.

“I was not sure why he paid attention to me. But after being invisible to my classmates for months, I was really looking forward to spending time with Jamie. I thought I was the only one special to Jamie. He was the center of my universe and I didn’t pay anyone else any attention.”

Raven laughed bitterly. “I guess I should have paid attention to my surroundings a bit. Because apparently, there was another girl that he paid a bit closer attention to. A certain detail that I failed to notice. I didn’t know he had a soft spot for her. But then again, I was so into Jamie that I would have been in denial if you told me.”, she continued.

The only response she got was the beeping sound coming from the machine that was next to the hospital bed.

“I didn’t expect to run into Jamie today. Although it doesn’t matter anymore. Jamie is my past. My present and future is Mason now.” Raven said as she stood up from the black leather seat.

Before she closed the door, Raven glanced back at the patient.“You know, I would like to say that ‘I hope you feel better’ but…I’m not sure if you waking up will help me or ruin me.”

Her soft round face that somehow resembled a cloudy sweet cotton candy hardened into a fully charcoal crispy marshmallow that was burnt to the core, no hint of sweetness inside.

She grasped her jacket firmly to her chest and as clear as fresh sprinkling water she said, “Thank you Owen…For pushing me out of the way from the incoming car. But it would be best if you forgot about what Jamie said…or to not wake up at all…”

Raven exits the hospital room, unaware of Owen’s index finger twitching slightly before opening his terrified eyes.

---

Mason was many things and Mason Reed was unfortunately one of them. He groggily wakes up from his afternoon nap. Leading a double life was tiring, especially for a teenager. But he needed to abide by the contract that he and the people that adopted him agreed to. No public trouble from him for a few more years and he is free with more than enough pocket change to buy a three story house.

It was annoying to be a pretty flower for the Reed’s friends and acquaintances, but it was worth staying away from the swarm of pesky wasps called therapists. Annoying bees are easier to handle than pesky wasps.

He rolls to his left side and reaches out to his Samsung Galaxy phone on the dark bed dresser. He sends a text Paige, asking if she wants to hang out.

Paige was good for him and he knew that his deceased mom would have approved of her. Especially because Paige was a church girl.

Spending time with her made him think that maybe deep down he missed attending service. And that it was probably time to go seek the peace that his mom claimed only came from the Lord.

He grabs a his large black hoodie and heads out of his dimly lit room. On his way to the kitchen, he notes that the house is eerie quiet.

He grabs a lime gatorade from the fridge before heading out toward the front door. The house was always set at the right temperature so he never complained about being cold or hot inside.

The door dinged and he felt chilly in his hoodie like someone put an ice cube down his t-shirt.

Mason shrugged it off and opened the door to a somewhat familiar person. She had come to the house before. The new girl hanging around Becca.

Was her name Rachel?

“Huh? What are you doing here? You are my sister’s friend right?”, he questioned, squinting at her slightly. 

He didn’t remember the faces of Becca’s friends. Becca had many friends but surprisingly only brought the same three girls at the house all the time. A dark haired girl named Bansari. The blonde which is Paige, his girlfriend. So this girl has to be the brunette one.

Which is Rhonda?

“Um…I” She kept looking at the ground, shuffling her feet while her hands were behind her back.

“Um…Becca isn’t here if you are looking for her.” 

He should have been on his way out but his feet were stuck as if they in deep dried mud instead on top of the wooden doorway.

His head began to throb. Mason made a move to close the door, thinking of staying home for some reason.

A foot got in the way though. This girl’s foot.

He opened the door slightly ajar.

There was nothing more that Mason wanted to do was tell this girl off and be off to his room. But she was Becca’s friend…so not a total complete stranger.

There was currently enough conflict between him and his sister as it is. There was no need for upsetting Becca more.

So with the patience of school teacher with a room of rowdy kids, he calmly asked, “Is there a message you wanted me pass along?”

“I came to see you.” She stared into Mason’s eyes with such expectancy that it took a second for Mason to realize that the girl was waiting to be invited in.

“Oh really?…This is my house you know. I live here and if I want to invite anyone inside, I will.” 

“You…you understand me don’t you Mason?”, she almost whispered.

“Understand? About what?” He raised an eyebrow, taken aback.

Why did she look like he was someone she can depend on? He didn’t even know her name.

“You know how it feels like to not belong. To be an outsider.”

Mason scoffed. “Being alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely. I’m alone by choice not because I was cast aside. I could care less about belonging anywhere.”

He wondered what this girl is saying. Not belong? Isn’t she friends with Becca? Becca is basically friends with everyone. Mason even reluctantly acknowledges Becca as a friend.

“Well…You know how it feels to not have a mother. Only to have one parent who neglects you.”

“My mom never neglected me. She had to work but when she was home, she gave me her full attention. As for my dad, well, I never met him and I don’t care to. Even if I find out he is alive. I am not sure why you are bringing this up. I’m don’t really up to talk about this with someone that I’m not close to.”

“Can’t we be close? I’m Raven. Becca’s friend. Can’t we be friends also?”

“Look…I’m only close to a select few people. I choose friends like a I choose a nice ripe apple from the fruit stand. And just because you are Becca’s friend, does not automatically make you my friend also.”

Raven clutched her shirt with one of her hands, shaking. “Why…why Paige? What is so special about her? Why choose her?!”

“Why? That’s easy. Because I like her obviously.”, he said while rolling his eyes.

Be it his sixth sense or God’s warning or whatever, he managed to reflexively slam her away with the door as the knife came swinging in a lightning strike speed.

There were two things that Mason was thankful for: the police coming and taking control of everything and Owen Wade, who after getting out of the hospital, tracked down Jamie Rodrick to get the full background on Raven Harris Brownell from freshman year.

And sincerely thank God when Owen showed up on the right time when Raven lost her sanity and had subconsciously lifted up the knife to strike at Mason. Owen coming behind Raven and taking hold of her hands after she was kicked away from Mason. Owen managed to get her let go of the knife and had her restrained on the ground with her arms behind her back until the police arrived.

To Raven, everything was like dejavú once again. Handcuffed. Sitting at the back of a police car. Her true love staring back at her in disbelief.

The only thing left was her father’s dissatisfaction with her. While she felt dissatisfied that she was once again unable to finish directing another romantic comedy movie in her life.

“Hey Wade, what was that all about? Was that girl trying to kidnap me or something?”

“Or something.”, Owen mumbled as he reached inside the front pocket of his gray pants.

Owen showed him a picture on his phone up in front of him. Same glint in his eyes. Same smirk. Same wavy obsidian hair. Same wardrobe color scheme. And both had same psychotic admirer. Then Owen swiped left and a new pic was shown. Same guy. Except with haunted eyes…and deep frown….shirt pulled up…etched on the abdomen were carven the words, ‘I BELONG WITH RAVEN’.

“Huh…haha…oh Lord, what did you just save me from?” Mason said in disbelief as he thought of the the fate he just escaped.